Everybody's got a story

Let’s begin by recognizing that I am not skilled in the art of asking for help – or asking for anything really. But I’m told that by telling my story, I’m not asking for anything, merely allowing others to better understand my vision and support that, whether spiritually, emotionally, or financially or whatever other “ally” comes to mind.

My back story

I was raised the child of missionaries. Not the kind of missionaries who own a house here in the USA and make a short trip every-so-often. The kind that abandoned all to live, naively, in a foreign land - not knowing the language or the customs, (or that main street was dangerous after dark, or that Slo Loris saliva is toxic). The kind that had to believe God would provide enough food for us to eat (with enough to also feed persecuted Christians who were depending on us) merely because we believed God said “go”. And 36 years ago, we did. You could say my world view is different than most, and I am OK with that – even if it often leaves me feeling like I’m not making a big enough imprint in the community I reside; or if it means I’m the odd duck in the room.

20 years ago, I visited Thailand and took my eldest son with me, while pregnant with my daughter. During that trip I met some incredible children, with incredible stories. And I longed to spend more time in the strange, but familiar place.

15 years ago, I had a very specific dream. After much prayer and seeking for the interpretation, I sold everything but what could be packed in a bag, or stored with a friend, and returned to work with those same children. At that time, I had committed to one year there. As is often required of missionaries, I wore many hats. I worked in the office, taught public school, taught worship in the evenings, led prayer meetings, directed teams of short-term missionaries and all the in-between. I ended up returning to the US a mere 9 months into the trip due to an unexpected personal tragedy. They say to, pay close attention to your tears, because it has to do with your destiny. They also say, to notice what makes you smile, because that is what captures your heart (whoever “they” is).

I can honestly assure you, that foreign missions (along with the subject of music and worship) makes me both cry and smile. Talk about it for more than a few seconds, I’ll probably do both. (And I’m not a smushy kind of gal). I’ve spent the last 12 years awkwardly making the “I’m-not-gonna-cry” face.

Within the past 15 years, I’ve sent my son on a trip, my daughter on missions trips and even my husband on a missions trip. I wanted to go, of course. But I was the one that stayed, and worked and prayed and planned.

Confirmation timeline

In late 2016, I sensed the desire to go begin to grow stronger within me. A couple of months later, a prophetic voice prayed over me and declared that I would soon begin to go. A few weeks later, I felt the Lord specifically give me instruction to return to Thailand in 2017. One year to plan for a short trip should be more than sufficient; except that we had only recently moved to North Dakota and taken new jobs – it would have to be God to allow all the pieces to fall into place. In obedience, I began to pray for that, and to prepare (finances, seeking permission, etc.) Keeping the specifics in my heart, this “time to go” season in my life was also later confirmed by two other people, on two separate instances with whom I do not even have an intimate relationship. They may not know me, but God does.

God dreams bigger

In the middle of praying and preparing for the trip to Thailand, there arose an opportunity to go to Nepal to conduct a women’s conference. I’d never been to Nepal and it sounded interesting, but I didn’t have an express command to go there; and my resources were tied up in the Thailand trip, to which I had already committed. I later received a direct email from the Nepali pastor telling me they were praying for my visit (*ahem* subtle. How am I supposed to say “no”?) With the number of women signing up to attend the conference growing far beyond what had been expected, it is not an exaggeration to say that volunteers from the US weren’t exactly rushing the gate to go there. How could I say no, when the conditions and the going don’t deter me in the least? I felt compelled to go. But had no source to meet the financial requirements for the trip, unless God intervened on my behalf.

Longer story short (OK, not short but much shorter than it could have been). I made 2 overseas trips in less than 5 months. I had safely planned to be obedient, allowing myself enough time to do it with my own resources. God challenged me to dream bigger and look to Him as my source, rather than myself. (This has always been a problem for me).

I still had time to collect the resources to make the Thailand trip later that year; but Nepal snuck in there. I went to Nepal with a team of ladies to conduct a conference for 300 Nepali women. I remember being asked how much I had personally raised towards that goal, and I honestly smiled and replied “a $100!” Crazy, but true.

What now?

Since 2017, Tim and I have made an annual trip to Northern Thailand, slowly taking over musical instruments, and making a little home for us to land while we are there. This year, we had numerous invitations to numerous places (both state-side and internationally), but Co-Vid prevented much of the travel and caused meetings to be rescheduled. Currently, we are in a holding pattern, we pray and abide in His perfect peace. Sometimes it is a matter of reminding our self to do nothing more than pray and abide – recalling past victories and the fact that our God is named Faithful and True.

We will be launching one of the only schools in SE Asia specifically designed to train Christian leaders in the area of worship. This includes in-service training in all areas of church ministry, basic doctrinal foundations, servanthood, how to hear God’s voice and translate that into operation, etc. as well as topics specifically related to worship. It is possible to have a dream of your own, and still serve a leader with a greater vision. This needs to be taught!

People are beginning to ask what our “plan” is. Our plan is to be obedient and start school in Thailand in October 2020. Despite Co-Vid and closed borders, we will continue to act and behave as if God’s perfect timing is unchanged from what He laid out to us 2 years ago. Which makes for a very uncomfortable “now”. We are getting close to time to terminate our lease, find a storage facility, find a new address, book tickets, etc… and there is no tangible reason to support these actions. Only blind faith.

Others have asked how we intend to fund the next portion. Again, we have no reoccurring monthly support raised, and in the past, have gone right up to the week of our departure before having any financial support to enable the trip. For those curious, our minimum monthly budget needed is $1,500 – this will pay our minimum storage fee here, our bills in Thailand and a little extra towards scheduled immigration matters.

I am asking you to pray for safety and wisdom during these trips – don’t watch the news. Just pray. I’m also asking you to pray for access back into the country and that Co-Vid will become a minimal factor in travel. Also that we will deliver the exact teaching that these leaders need to equip and empower them to live out their purpose. And I’m asking you to spread the word that we need financial resources to fit all the pieces together.

If you have questions, want to hear more details of our story – hit us up (I love coffee – Tim prefers an energy drink). If you would like to give towards Asaph’s Journal (the leadership training program in Thailand) or other trips, there is a “Donate” link on our website (www.asaphsjournalschool.com) If you need to be receipted for tax purposes, send me a message and I can make that happen as well.

I’m always amazed and humbled by God’s patience with me and His ability to use me, in spite of my humanity. We all have a story to tell; have the courage to tell it well.