Soliloquy

Soliloquy: an act of speaking one's thoughts aloud when by oneself or regardless of any hearers, especially by a character in a play.

It's May. It's hot, humid, rainy season has arrived and brought the bugs with it. Last week we had a bull frog stuck inside our bathroom drain. He, apparently, enjoyed the great bathroom acoustics because he sang and talked to himself ad nauseum for days before finding his way out. Wednesday worship practice I nearly disrobed in front of the team due to bugs down my shirt and up my shorts. I was trying to teach about song writing and bugs flew into my mouth while I was talking. (Tim is in the city for a couple of days helping with all things drum related for the new Victory Church Chiang Mai church plant.)

Yesterday, while sweeping and mopping for the 4th time after a massive bug invasion, the word "soliloquy" very prominently popped into my mind and just sat there hovering over all other thought (I sometimes see words typed out in my head). Immediately, I thought of Timothy's homeschool and asked if he was learning anything about "soliloquy". Nope he is not, and does not know what it means. I'm somewhat embarrassed (as an English major and former member of the International Thespian Society) to admit that I couldn't remember what the word meant either. I continued to clean, which proved to be a lesson in futility, but I digress...

I meant to sit down and spend some time inquiring of the Lord with my Bible and online dictionary, but the day was full and the power went out for a few hours, leaving us sitting in the dark waiting for bed time. Fast forward to this morning, I woke up with the word, "soliloquy" again in my mind, so I looked it up. I learned that "the main purpose of a soliloquy is to acquaint the audience or the reader, the secret thoughts and/or intentions that the character is having in his mind. It also puts light on the external relationships, thoughts, and the future actions related to the character and to the other characters of the drama."

The entire past week, I had been praying through frustrations and disappointments; and revisiting Psalm 51. I appreciate the simplicity of the Good News Translation, which reads:

10 Create a pure heart in me, O God, and put a new and loyal spirit in me. 11 Do not banish me from your presence; do not take your holy spirit away from me. 12 Give me again the joy that comes from your salvation, and make me willing to obey you.

I cannot be Holy Spirit to anyone else, but I can make sure my heart stays right, which means I have to be willing to examine my heart, my motive and my reaction to every situation. Proverbs 4:23 talks about this!

Above all else, watch over your heart [emphasis mine]; diligently guard it because from a sincere and pure heart come the good and noble things of life.

Now, though, the Lord is demanding more. Not only must I guard my heart, watch how I treat or talk to others, but also watch how I talk to myself? (Does this mean God talks to Himself too? I feel like that's important because it would prove I'm not crazy...). One could certainly use Matthew 15:11 as inference. It reads:

It’s not what goes into your mouth that defiles you; you are defiled by the words that come out of your mouth.”

Its not enough to take our thoughts captive and merely guard our hearts. We have to sometimes tell the thoughts in our head to be quiet. We have to stop listening to what we think and start talking about what we know.

Author Paul David Tripp wrote, "No one is more influential in your life than you are, because no one talks to you more than you do. We never stop talking to ourselves...The things you say to you about you, God and life are profoundly important because they form and shape the way you then respond to the things that God has put on your plate."

So, why not just say that, Lord? Why send me on a full on English lesson about the word "Soliloquy"? The Bible talks about books being written in heaven. Our lives are stories written, being written and rewritten. The words we speak to ourselves, over ourselves are just as important as the words we speak over others. Our words we speak to ourselves are just as important as the thoughts we harbor. Our thought are known by ourselves, and God alone. We are given opportunity to think on good things or bad things, but outside of the fruit of those thoughts, "no one really knows what's going on in that little head of ours". Our words, however, are spoken to ourself, over ourself and enter the atmosphere. There are witnesses in the heavens writing that narrative and watching it until it produces that which it intended. So, if our lives are written...then, yes, a soliloquy is a perfect word to define what is expected of us. If a frog can do it, so can you. Go ahead. Talk to yourself.

Prayer points:

- Transportation

- We have an appointment with immigration regarding visas on May 19th which will determine what we are allowed to do here, how long we can stay and how that may affect travel.

- Wisdom in navigating communication and relationships with emerging leaders in both church locations.

- The translation process of both worship books we are putting into the Thai language for the school would be on time, accurate and God breathed.

- The Lord would send us a hand-picked, God ordained, interpreter for Asaph's Journal school.

Thank you to all who are praying over us and with us!

He is our Greatest adventure!

Tim, Jr. & Misty Scott